If I Were a Girl

A rebuttal to Beyonce’s “If I Were a Boy.” Sing along (the instrumental, for your convenience):

If I were a girl
Even just for a day
I’d spend an hour in the bathroom
And complain when I don’t get my way
Talk shit about my friends
And lie to their face
Have the personality of a lamp shade
And I’d never get confronted for it
Because other girls stick up for me

If I were a girl
I think I could understand
How it feels to hate other girls
For no real tangible reason
I’d shoot off my mouth
Cause I know he’ll forgive
When I tell him I don’t want him
Then turn around and blame him
When everything we had got destroyed

If I were a girl
I’d use my period as an excuse
Tell everyone I’m bloated
So they don’t
expect me to do anything
I’d lie all the time
And blame it on him
Cause I know that he’ll let me win
As long as I scream loud enough (loud enough)

If I were a girl
I think I could understand
How it feels to hate other girls
For no real tangible reason
I’d shoot off my mouth
Cause I know he’ll forgive
When I tell him I don’t want him
Then turn around and blame him
When everything we had got destroyed

It’s a little too late for you to come back
Say its just a mistake
Think I forgive you like that
If you thought I would wait for you
You thought wrong

But you’re just a girl
You don’t understand (yea you don’t understand)
How it feels to be a rational being
Someday you’ll realize you won’t find a better man
You don’t shut the fuck up
You don’t make sense
Until you finally get confronted
Cause you’ve taken him for granted
And everything you had got destroyed
But you’re just a girl…

Dedicated to every girl ever.